I don't know why, I get worked up when I read blogs on two timing, divorced, cheating spouses or other half.

I feel that some men are stupid and some women are just suckers. I am skeptical about marriages, true love and forever love. What happens to the sweet names you call one another? Ends up being recycled and use on someone else?

Another blog I read was on someone cheating on his wife and family. He insisted that he wasn't, even when the whole family found out about it, saw the photo of the girl and the smses he sent. The girl was a few years younger than his daughter and she is from China. Both are disgrace to their countries, their families and themselves.

I am ashamed to say that one of my ex-neighbours married a Chinawoman few months after his wife died of cancer and the Chinawoman gave birth a few months after the marriage. The Chinawoman is very voluptuous and she definitely knows how to attract men, by wearing low cut tops. Her bosoms speak.

That disgusting old man (in his 40s)hires a maid for his new wife; his late wife slogged away to death. His children from his previous marriage were neglected. They just moved out because they know everyone has been pointing finger at them and criticising them. Do they even know the word called "guilty"? I hope what comes around goes around.

HOwever, I still give my blessings to those who are getting married. Maybe, those shits don't apply to most couples.

It's 3.14am now. Can't get to sleep and feeling very moody, so I browsed through some blogs.

Read someone's blog. As the website loaded, firstly I was struck by the recent photo of hers. Posed with her new boyfriend. Next, I was shocked by how she called her new boyfriend sweet names. And an entry on being proposed.
Pictures and entries of her and her hubby (I supposed it should be ex-hubby) were removed. Can one get divorce so fast?

If I were a drinker, I would have been drunk now. I feel like gulping down wine, drowning my moodiness away. Perhaps, this will reveal my hidden feelings, because when one gets drunk, they will blabber out the truth, which I don't even know when I am conscious? (Seen from drama)

What is marriage?

What is true love?

What is happiness?

What is money?

What is life?

Are we supposed to do things that the society demands of us and what is norm and what is not?

What do I want in life? Life seems confusing now.

Wow, people getting married all around me. And they are of the same age as me.

Sometimes, I wonder whether it is too early to get married at my age.

One of the married colleagues said that relationship will go stale if you hang on to it for too long without getting married. Nevertheless, why do people get divorce? Did they know one another for too long before marriage?

I really really don't know. What the heck. Why do I even bother to think about it?

I should just focus on my work. Be a workalcoholic! Work is my priority! I bury myself in the pile of work. Shut up everything else!

The music plays at the background.

"..we'll catch up some other time.."

Hasn't she decided not to allow anyone from hometown to visit her? She wonders. For the past years, she has painstakingly learnt to get use to leading her own life in a faraway land. Suddenly, the visit means breaking the momentum, upsetting the balance, sending the Jenga pieces of her life toppling down.

It is all because to every visit, there is a departure. She doesn't even allow herself to bring her family photos along. Let alone being visited by someone whom she has strong attachment, it is like peeling the skin off her flesh.

She could envisage the aftermath of the visit. The haunting emptiness. Hollowness. The plain torture.

But the physical affections that she has been denied for months by circumstances, the desire to trace the contours of his face with her fingertips and feel his intense gaze, the one which speaks of nothing but love, to sum up, her craving for him outweighs everything. She did not manage to block off his pleading to come and chose to give in to instant gratification. She just longed to feel the warmth around her, the butterfly kisses and the soothing stroking of her hair.

He says let's dance to this music.

As she clings onto him, places her feet on his, they dance.

The clock ticked away. Sadness eats her gradually. Ebbing control. Her eyelashes flutter, soon gleaming with tiny droplets of pearl. She hugs him even tighter, hiding her face in his embrace, leaving a wet patch on his T-shirt. He holds her tighter and stokes her head.

For the past days they have been arguing. The broken cup. The burnt frying pan. The weird habits of one another.

All good and bad things must come to an end. Tommorow he will return to hometown.

Oh my, it's 2008.

2007. Pain from infection of dead nerves, root canal extraction, pain from death of grandpa.

2007. Excitement from my new job, I was shocked to find that the job is sooo me. Guess this job suits my personality and it's what I truly want.

Excitement from news of 2 of my darling buddies got proposed and getting married!! :D
This year (2008) will be my first time being "jie mei" (that is if my friend sticks to her words..)!
***********************************************

Well, I got what I wished for. To be a student again in 2008.

Oh my, it's 2007 already.

Too many things happening in 2006 too. Shocking and sad. Shocking is an understatement.

The playing of the shows on SQ flights sux. Too many ads. I was bored to death. Watching new movies on board was the only thing I looked forward to, besides reaching home. And I always hate the icecream they served.

My face looks more like flatscreen tv. I have no idea wat's the inch of the latest flatscreen but I presume it is my face. I notice as people grow older, their faces grow broader. I'll say signs of ageing includes bigger face.

Trying to adapt to the lifestyle, temperature, humidity and time change in Sg.

I wish I were a student forever. :( Time to throw myself into the big bad dirty world of the working class.Welcome to myself.

oh dear.

managed to nip a hr or so of sleep. Dreamt of a big dog, I found it so cute and bent a little to hug it(must be the topic of Lieblingtiers for the Deutsch oral), when suddenly the dog leapt up excitedly, it sniffed my throat and would not bulged from that position. I was afraid to move my body up, bcoz it looked like it would jump and bite my throat if I just move a single inch of my muscle. So I was left hanging there. Arghhhhhhhhhhh..so scary, I kept toking to the dog to calm it down. It licked my throat. My throat felt a pang of pain. then dunno y related to the documentary on dogs could detect cancerous cells by sniffing. Then I felt that i should check for cancerous cells..stupid dream!

At least it's not the usual, go back to sg n then forced to leave sg dream. I am so stressed! :`(

Even though my blog had been in hiatus for so long, i had been reading other pple's blogs. wasted so much time watching youtube shows. :( As usual i reali need to give myself a tight slap.

In these few days, I had dreams of the same theme. I went back to sg, then I was so happy. Suddenly there would b a plan to stop me from staying for long. I panicked and had to catch the flight back to Aus. So sickening..

I think my heart says just pack up and go home. Even though my brain says shit you you lousy weakling. I wish i were like those pple who want to get as far away from their home as possible.

While others juz dash to the finishing line, I feel overwhelmed and feel like slowing down.

Slowly edging towards one landmark event of my life..so exciting

hmm...after reading blogs and browsing thru all the Sg idol n PSS2, I have come to the conclusion tt anyone who wants to even get into the first round must hv these criteria:

1. must be in one of those music schools (after all there's no such thing as free lunch, you hv to give them more money b4 they even think of letting you hv the potential)
2. Tall tall tallllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!
3. SKINNY!!!!
4. rich enough to be able to do (1), plus buy good clothes, shoes, makeup, have good hairstylist, pedicure, manicures, facial appointments, braces, etc.

dunno y, i feel dat those who had only number 1 and 4 may still be too naive. sorry. if you are not tall, forget it. It's up to you whether you wan to waste money. if fat ok la, just lose weight loh.

However, some pple like guo mei mei or Jolin cai or Jiang meiqi, once groomed, they look more like celebrities now.
If you think you sing well, or even the whole world thinks you sing like Mariah Carey, let me tell you. it's only a bonus to the recording company. not even in the criteria. :P

people who set up music schools are really clever in making money! wahhhh...damn clever move! i shd hv thot of makin money setting up a music school or sth...wahhhhhhhh

Wah biang October already!

friday will be hostel group bbq eve for mooncake fest! yeah!

********
damn you lousy immune system! fell sick again..feel like shit

*******

Read someone else's blog. What is beauty? Wah...after reading the blog and having itchy hands i went to click on the links, i didn't know singapore got so many chio bu! some from uni one leh...wahhhhhhhhhh...see until i drool...

But then again, proves tt the blogger likes to go for face value one leh, i can't believe in this world, in the 21st century liao, they are still this type of people around.

Make me feel so inadequate. Being a SCIENCE uni student(i emphasise the word science, ok la, second to engineering students) I have no time to dress up. No time and no cosmetic to make up. No events in fact for me to do so. I donne an 'ah soh' look wif my short hair and always in a pair of jeans because it is either too cold here or UV too strong here. I am paunchy now. When I am nervous, I tear my fingernails. Lab requires close toe shoes. why should i wear an uncomfortable pair of heels? My bag is given by Jiajia, which makes people wonder whethr I join "Fitness first" but seeing me will probably scare them away from joining this fitness club. My clothes all fading colour because they are at least 3 yrs old liao, I can't buy new ones because what if i m gg back at the end of the yr for gd? my contact lenses r rotting. my last time doing facial mask was last yr?! got wrinkles on my not gd complexion already! Waaaaaaaaa*wail*


but wah...let me admire the beauties first! woooooooooooooo~~~ *whistles* where they buy their clothes? i want...i will look like a toad if i stand next to them.

wait until i go back to sg. time to whip up some cash to invest in something to improve on my outlook. must at least look neat, tidy and demure.

Just pop by to enter this:

As I was basking in the sun ard 11am waiting for my first lecture of the day near the architectural fac building, I saw many people crowding around(emm..actuali more than 4 pple but less than 20)  and looking one floor below. So of course I wanted to be part of the small crowd.

Saw a security guard, two ladies and a fat duck.

Then saw one of them grabbed a little duckling hiding behind some potted plants and placed into a box, covered with a black cloth and a lot more quackings came from the box. The adult duck was quacking and circling them frantically. Guess the people were done with their job. At first one of them pondered what to do with the adult duck. Then one of ladies said leave it alone, it would follow. So they went upstairs. As expected the adult duck quickly followed them. In fact, it reached the top faster than those people becoz it flew upstairs. Then it waited for those people to reach the top. hehe. So clever.

Anyway, then the people led the adult duck away, probably back to Torrens River. Thought that the adult duck was frustrated and wanted to attack the people but it din. It juz quacked around, looking panicky and defenceless. So unlike geese. If provoked, u die. Ya so aggressive. So Mother duck is useless shit. Boo. That's y u have Mother goose nursery rhymes. Quoted from wikipedia, "The term 'Mother Goose' has been adopted as a slang term in the UK, and refers to a neurotic woman who fusses too much over those who are in her charge."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Goose

Question: Why we can't eat the ducks and geese from Torrens river?

***
tml test. I very stress u know. bye!

Ah..found this photo of the dishes we ordered in T Chow! HOhoho..



Starting from the dish of green veggie, clockwise: Braised Beef tendon, Fried fish, Oyster Omelette, Mapo Tofu, Chicken stir fried with seaweed.

Middle: Loh Pig's intestine, Butter Prawns

**********

Kim's muffin is so good! I think my body is producing a lot of endorphines from eating good food...hehehehe

So I finished all the Chocolate Bavarian I could get hold from my freezer by yesterday. Today I was staring at the Homebrand, Sara Lee and Bon-whatever-it's-called brand of Bavarian dessert. Anyway, during the daytime, maybe 2 hrs after my lunch I polished the whole bag of Twisties. Then directly after, I tore open a pack of Almond fingers. Even though I hate the strong sickening smell of almond essence, which was so obviously picked up by my nose from the fingers. Usually I will just feel like vomiting after smelling it. However, I ate another one after the first try!

Mustered lotsa courage b4 walking away from Chocolate Bavarian..

Finally got to eat red bean paste pancake! Yeah! Yummy and soaking wif oil.

Tomorrow, Indian restaurant.

****

me being a potato couch again..back to being a walking tv guide! oh dear..

A thief came to our hostel today. She opened almost everyone's door, even though some of the hostelmates were in his/her room. She just apologised. SO bold!!!!

Damn girl! I vaguely heard her speaking to one of the hostelmates who actually asked her wat she was doing here, while I was in my room. I was surprised to hear an Aussie accent, because our hostel is made up of 100% asians. Then I thought it might be someone else's project mate.

SOmeone got his/her properties lost, including I/C. That person was the very person who opened the door for that damn Aussie teenager, out of pity, because that desperate thief made an excuse of wanting to use the toilet here and she wanted to stay for a while because she was cold. Unlucky poor thing. GGGGGGGGGGggrrrrrrrrrrr..

People pls lock your doors whenever you are not your room.

Oh my goodness, I can't believe it. The man who wrestled with crocodiles, held snakes in his hand, hugged tiger cubs is dead. Killed by stingray. So unluckily to get stung in his chest. Oh my gosh, I m still trying to accept the truth. Found out while checking my emails, happened to saw the news on yahoo website as news headline. Couldnt believe it, watched news on tv. It's confirmed. The "crocodile hunter" is dead. Steve Irwin is dead.

T Chow and Cibo night on thurs:

T Chow would charge us for BYO wine at $3 per glass. Then it cost $7 per bottle if we buy from them. Huh?

Food portions were small but surprisingly, I feel that the food served in T Chow were not of bad standards, comparable to Ding Hao. Mmmm...yum.. But for the Hor Lok, I couldn't see any oysters in the omelette. maybe because it was shared by 10 of us.
********************
Ahh...I was shocked seeing how my Iced chocolate drink was prepared in Cibo. It was just a scoop of chocolate Gelato added into a small glass, then the waitress just filled up the whole glass with milk. Huh?

Cake was ok loh...better impression of the cake in Cibo than those served in stupid Scoozi. Last time we ordered the Bailey's cake. Couldnt taste Bailey's or anything alcoholic. :( Plus din like their service.

Cibo service wasn't very gd too. The person who served us, squirted the cream into the hot chocolate and droplets of the cream splatted onto us! Looked so ugly too...juz like a tiny bird dropping. And he asked us whether it was enough. Duh?! We would expect a nice dollop of cream sitting on the brown thick creamy chocolate.
Anyway, ordering any chocolate cakes anywhere anytime wun go wrong. Which is sad, I need something so delish that would me make cry!

**********

Dorothy and I were shopping for groceries for our dinner on Friday nite. Then, she found this pack of frozen dessert called the Chocolate Bavarian on offer. It was actually Bi-lo brand but we found it in Coles! I vaguely remembered tasting the Coles brand and liked it quite a lot. When Dor got to taste the dessert, she squealed in delight! It was actually chocolate icecream in between biscuit base and vanilla top layer with spice aroma and chocolate sprinkles. Not bad! Better than the disappointing Vienetta which always looked so good on TV. I remember how I persuaded my parents to get me that and on tasting it sux big time. I hate icecream that taste like milk powder. That's not called icecream ok?! Crap! That's why, one of the things which makes me love Ozzielalaland is that they produce thick creamy yummilicious icecream in Ozzieland.

After getting a bite of Dor's dessert, I was so tempted to buy a box for myself, so I went back to Coles to find that the dessert was sold out! I got myself the Coles brand one which was $1 more expensive.

The results: I prefer the Coles brand because there wasnt any spice taste and I enjoy it more. I had been stuffing myself with generous helpings of the dessert since Sunday! This is the right snack for me! I can have icecream and at the same time biscuits and chocolate bits! Mmmmmm...

*********
Betty bought us an oven and a new microwave. Finally! After using old or second hand electrical appliances, we were so touched seeing those shiny new spanking toys! It's time for me to whip up my hand whisk!

y they repeated almost every show on tv?????

Last night, first i watched futurama again...same old thing, of course I understand that it would be a repeat becoz the new season is coming up in 2008. Then even "House" was a repeat! And NCIS..(anyway i hate NCIS..every character tried to be funny, even when they were dead)was a repeat too. Then I got irritated n switched from Channel Ten to Seven and Nine. Saw "Crossing Jordan" (yes, the mole lady). What the..? Even though I seldom watched "Crossing Jordan", I had watched that particular episode b4 too?!

After watchin Oprah, here r some lessons to be learnt:

Some reasons why pple go into affairs (and also i think its related to two timing too):

1. they have extremely low self esteem

2. they learn from their parents how to treat their spouses

3. they want excitement and be "in control" in a relationship (which is an illusion)

4. they want to be satisfied completely

5. they have been in an abusive relationship and they want to vent it out on their spouse/partner

To help you out of the mess:

- understand the root of the problem: by backtracking and asking when did this happen? what caused it to happen? Is the affair emotional or juz physical? If there's emotional period, when did it start, how long did it proceed on to sexual? What caused it to become sexual?

1. somebody else's attention and sweet talking boost your self esteem?
2. your father caused you rage in the house, suppressing you and you wanted to do sth fiery in your own household because you want to be in control?
3. be in a competition with someone else (again self esteem booster)?
4. your relationship is very boring so you want the forbidden fruit?
5. your relationship doesn't satisfy you physically or emotionally or monetary-wise?

Being in an affair hurt everyone. Especially yourself. Being in an affair with a married person, the married person is just using you selfishly to gain instant gratifications for those above reasons. You lose respect from everyone else, including yourself subconsciously. What makes you think the person will not do the same thing to you the next time? Becoz that person is nt addressing his/her issue(s) properly, juz merely escaping. You are just his/her illusion and vice versa.

- Discuss with a counsellor. Best not with family members or friends. They are not subjective enough.

To self,(in broken chinese)

记住,年轻就是本钱…

不要让岁月流失了



......所以,从此以后我要当一名才女! 让我练成一生本领..Roarrrrrrrrr...Emm..hehe… :P